my brown-eyed girl

I know this sounds crazy but I'm pretty sure Hannah has grown a bunch in the last two weeks. My mom told me that when Joseph was born, Hannah would all of a sudden be so big. And she was. It makes me realize how fast she is growing up and how precious life is. Each day is a gift from God.

While in labor I had my laptop open in front of me on the rolling table. I had the screen saver showing random pictures of Hannah. It made me happy and calm to watch pictures of her fill the screen. We were so excited and anxious to see her after Joseph's delivery. It was amazing to meet Joseph and to hold him, and smell him, and pray over him. But the scene wasn't complete. We needed Hannah. {It's no secret how crazy in love with her we are. And you are aware if you read this post that I was a little nervous about changing our family of three.} So when Hannah finally came to the hospital Monday evening, we were eager to see how she would react. Watching the emotion in Joe as he held her at my hospital bed and introduced her to her new brother was something I will never forget. No surprise that she didn't take to the baby at first. What upset me was that she didn't want anything to do with me. Here I was in a strange place, in a hospital bed, with weird things attached (IV, blood pressure cuff, and hospital bracelets), AND holding this baby. I think the sight scared her. As much as I wanted to pull her on my lap and hold her, she wanted away from the baby and away from me.

I have to tell you, I am glad that that is over. She has now adjusted and is doing great with the baby, who she calls "Joses". In fact, she's a little too interested sometimes - grabbing the swing while he's in it, standing up on the hearth to reach into the pack-n-play to touch him {not always softly}, or trying to climb onto the Boppy while I'm nursing him. She has this cry she does when he cries. Such sympathy. While we are still having a rough time going down for naps and at bedtime, most of the time she's happy. {I think we might also have a new tooth or two in the near future, which has not helped her out any.}

When it rains I like to back the car out of the carport and give it a "God bath". Hannah, like me, likes the rain too. Several days ago I picked her up (t-shirt and a diaper), sat her in the front seat, backed up the car and we just watched and played while the rain cleaned the car. As I was getting on to her about messing with the radio, I realized something. What harm could she possibly do by playing with all of the buttons and dials on the dash? I stopped saying no and just let her. She had the biggest grin on her face the whole time. Lately, I feel like I'm saying no all the time to her. Sometimes, I think, I just need to let go and let her have fun. Especially right now...

I am finding it increasingly important to spend time with her. And I love this time. I know Joe does too. We read lots of books. We play with her toys. We go outside and explore, take her for walks or runs. We sing to her and rock her. She loves the attention she gets from us, separate and together. She is so loving and sweet. I think she's going to be a great big sister.

A little story. We have been in the "no" phase for a while. She says no almost every time you ask her a question, even if she means yes. But the other day she started nodding her head. And yesterday a little exchange between us went like this:

me: I love you, Hannah. Do you love me?
Hannah: Yes.

And just like that my heart melted.