the shirt off my back

It was like Joseph read what I wrote the other day about it being easy having just one child. Like a light switch, my morning did a 180. Baby boy had bad reflux and cried for about 3 hours straight. Screamed is actually more accurate. The painful, honest truth is that I walked away from him at one point and screamed myself. To no one in particular. And then I prayed. Asked. Pleaded God to help me. Joe was taking the afternoon off and we were going out of town for some shopping, a movie and dinner (with Joseph in tow). I decided I didn't want to go anywhere, but he talked me into getting out of the house. Joseph improved as the day wore on. Thursday was not that much better though. {This post title refers to me literally having to take off the shirt I'm wearing because it's covered in spit-up or because there is no dry burp cloth nearby and my shirt's the next best thing.} It doesn't seem that bad a couple of days removed, but when you're in the situation, it is. I like to say I was "not in a good place." I was overwhelmed. I had so much to do and couldn't accomplish anything. I felt like I was to my breaking point. This is an example of a time when I say: This is it, I'm done having kids, no more for me. This week has just been a rough one.

Admitting sometimes that you just can't handle all that's going on is tough. We feel like we are supposed to always be in control. I read a devotional one time from Rick Warren about how breaking down and admitting we are not in complete control of our lives is considered weak in today's world. That submission is a negative thing. Well, days like Wednesday make me realize that not only am I not in control, I'm nowhere even close. I just need to do the best I can and rely on God for the strength (and patience) to get me through each difficult day. There is so much pressure to be super mom.

Rick Warren talked about submitting our lives to God, basically being honest with ourselves and saying "God, I can't handle it all on my own and I need your help." I ask God almost daily for wisdom and discernment when it comes to my children - to know what's best for them - and I think I need to remind myself on a daily basis that I should submit to God and let Him be in control.

Now that it's Sunday and I wrote the above several days ago, I can report that we made it through the week and had a full weekend of house work and family time. Joseph turned four months old, and some strides were made in the nursery department. I'll post when I upload the pictures from my camera. Hope you had a nice weekend!


PS - I find it ironic that in my nightly devotional two nights ago (dated 8/1 so I'm seriously behind) I read the following about to do lists:

Often I find myself trying to accomplish several tasks on my list all in one day. I enjoy the sense of accomplishment that comes from rapidly checking items off my list. But I also feel stressed and exhausted from trying to do too much too quickly. I have to remind myself to slow down, to remember that I don't have to accomplish everything in a single day...God could have created the earth and the vast universe in a single day or even a single moment. But God didn't do it that way...God is teaching me to seek balance between work and rest. God is also helping me to realize that slowing down and enjoying life is as important as checking off a completed item from my list. - The Upper Room

No doubt you have noticed that I don't post as much as I used to. I love to blog but it has become another "item on my list" and I don't like it that way. I love this outlet for stories, updates, thoughts and photo-sharing. There is a lot I'd like to write about, but having the time to sit in peace for any significant length of time comes rarely. I also know how much I love to enjoy all these moments I write about with my family and don't want to take time away from that. And so I've been kinda absent in blog world. I guess I could just say I've been busy living. As we continue to settle in our new home, Hannah's starts preschool (yikes!), and things calm down a little, I'm sure I will be back more often. Til next time...

1 child, 1 dog down...

My mom took Hannah and Chloe to Savannah with her for a couple of days. {Chloe may stay indefinitely...dogs are a much better idea when you don't have small children. I almost gave Chloe to the exterminator day before yesterday. He acknowledged my sign on the door and didn't even knock and she went berserk. He really wanted her and I really didn't. She barks and wakes up sleeping babies, etc.} 

Having one child is easy (relatively speaking). It's crazy how you are so busy when you have just one kid and then another comes along and you realize how much *time* you had before. I can't imagine three...

So, I need to take advantage of this time without toddler in tow and be productive around the house. {We've got a baptism and a birthday coming up. And, not that anyone would expect me to have a perfect house, I want to be completely unpacked and settled even if everything isn't exactly how I want it.} But first I want to post some randomness. 

We watched a lot of the Tour de France. We do every year. We love it. Think Joseph did too.

Who am I kidding? He just loved the cuddle time with mom.

He found his tongue, and that was just plain cute. Daddy tried to get him to perform for the camera. Instead he just laughed. He has also rolled over. He's sleeping great and the reflux is a little better. Some days are better than others. We have several clothing changes a day, and by "we" I mean both of us. I feel like I'm a big burp cloth. Good thing I love him a whole lot.

First time in the Bumbo!

I bought these for Hannah a month or so ago. Thought she would enjoy playing with them.

Ever since they came home with me, I have found them throughout the house - usually lined up like this. I hope it's not a sign of OCD.

This time, she changed her mind as I was taking the picture.

Yesterday, I picked up a few more for her birthday. Can't wait to see her reaction.

We went to Fernandina Beach for some down time with friends. I love the beach. There is this calm and sense of awe that consumes me while I'm there. Troubles just seem to disappear. It is my favorite setting to reflect and talk to God. A couple times when Joseph was upset, I scooped him up and started walking. He was immediately lulled to sleep by the sound of the ocean. I feel like my soul longs for the water. I wonder if people who get to see that view everyday realize how good they have it.

While a beach vacation is not exactly relaxing with babies, it was a great time and a good change of scenery. It was Joseph's first time, too.

Hannah loved being in the water with her dad and even rode some waves on the boogie board. 

Mary Thomas and Joseph napping under the tent. Is there a better place to sleep?

The swaddle still works with towels.

 

"Nana Anna" and Joseph. He gets what we wants when she's around.

Mary Thomas, Kelli and Jeffery's youngest girl:

Hannah and "Necklace" (she can't say Alexis):

Jeffery captured an eel.

More snoozing...

Our help: Alexis, Erin, Victoria, and Kristen. Love these girls.

Saturday was the triathlon. Just doing it "for fun", Joe did great.

Joe's in the gray.

"Go, Daddy, go!"

Cooling off...

It was a fun trip. I wish we would have taken a group picture. But that might be asking a bit too much.

And, Aunt Karen came through town and stopped by for a visit. She brought Hannah an early birthday present. We miss her and Uncle John!

That's all for now. Nursery update coming soon.

clemine and pru

I'm back in the blogging world for a few quick minutes. It's been a very full summer and I cannot believe it's mid-August already. We had a nice few days at the beach with friends, so when I have some spare time I'll blog about that and post some pictures. For now, I've got this:

Hannah's crib is positioned in her room here just as it was in the last house. But for some reason, now she tosses her bla bla dolls Clementine and Prudence over the edge into the corner of the room after most naps and nights. She loves Clemine and Pru, as she calls them, so I'm not sure why she throws them overboard. When we go in to get her, she often tells us about their plight - as if they upped and jumped over themselves. Anyway, I'll move the crib and go get them (another reason why I didn't take the casters off), but Joe prefers to go about it this way. Hannah likes to help.